Cincy Enquirer to Bungles Fans: "Can't Win, Don't Try"

Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer penned a column today that, between lame digs at Steelers fans and their "American-made sedans", absolves Bengals fans of selling their seats to their hated division rivals, so they can watch the game on their Taiwanese-made plastic chairs in their two-roomed, three-walled houses without indoor plumbing.

Why do fans feel obligated to support lousy teams? Sports is recreation, entertainment, fun. Why do fans think that has to involve suffering? You have to understand pain to appreciate pleasure. I get that. But that applies to life. Sports isn't life. Sports is ... sports.

What do you want for your loyalty, a purple heart? The "loyal" Bengals fans of the '90s helped prolong their own suffering. They enabled Mike Brown.

That's right. In Cincy, they pack it in after four losses. Hey, the Steelers started 3-4 in 1995 and went to the Super Bowl. Not that the Bengals are capable of doing that. Just wanted to get their hopes up. Kidding again. Cincinnati is without hope. They grind it up and put it in that nasty chili they eat.


Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

American-made sedans are also very popular in Cuba. Good mechanics down there 'n 'at.

TheStarterWife said...

Since when is Cincinnati teaming with BMWs, Rolls Royces, and Ferraris?

Cotter said...

I blame cancerous Chad Johnson, personally.