Today, the Steelers sport a new T-shirt that reads simply "Use Me." They wore them during warmups Sunday in Cincinnati and, yes, there is a story behind it, according to defensive end Brett Keisel.
"We were in meetings once, and coach said, 'Arnold Harrison!' And Arnold said, 'Use me!' It kind of started from that.''
And its meaning?
"It means all of us are accountable and all of us in here want to be on the field," Keisel explained. "If you're on the field, then you have an expectation level you need to play to. That's what it means. When you're out there, you're part of the group and you're being useful."
Makes sense, even if it has the potential for unwanted connotations. Perhaps "Have Me Rush the Quarterback" might have been more apropos, but that doesn't look as good on a cotton tee, I bet.
It's also a shirt that I implore these fine makers of Steelers gear to make a "Use Me" shirt for the fans. And when I say fans, I mean sexy female Steelers fans. You all I truly have a use for. Or even just hot women in general. I'm willing to make exceptions, unless they root for the Ravens, Bengals, Browns, Pats or Cowboys. Then they might as well don their "Use Me, And Get the Clap and Have Your Dick Fall Off" shirts.
The defense shouldn't have to overextend themselves too much to get a handle on the Ravens, who currently rank 21st in yardage and 26th in points. Brian Billick, who in Minnesota parlayed all the offensive acumen it takes to coordinate the league's top attack when seven of you 11 offensive starters are Pro Bowlers, has only once in his tenure in Baltimore had an offense finish in the top 10 in scoring, and that was four years ago.
Can't imagine why Ravens fans call for his head every time they lose. You simpletons just can't understand his genius. Once of these days, he's gonna get tired of telling you.