We all know the NFL preseason is as helpful as an extended dry-hump. Perhaps the league is finally coming to their senses. As we move toward games that may actually legitimize my alcoholic binges, questions remain:
QB Situation: Are we really keeping all four? I like Chuck Batch as much as the next guy, but how many clipboard holders do we need? Shit, don't answer that.
FWP: Is Willie all the way back? Is he mentally ready? I just threw up in my mouth.
O-line experience: Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ
Defensive durability: Overweight coming into camp? Torn bicep(Smith), ruptured spleen(Clark), fuck up your knee(Polamalu) last year? WE HAVE A STARTING ROSTER SPOT FOR YOU!
Young Guys: Is Mendenhall really as good as he's looked? Can he and Sweed HOLD THE FUCK ON TO THE GODDAMN FOOTBALL? Are Woodley and Timmons good enough to justify my raging hard-on?
Special Teams: I would rather be raped by a bear with AIDS than have our season decided by special teams play.
Now that's DEFINITELY enough reason to start sippin the cough medicine...I'm off to Heinz.
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