I'm a shameless and unabashed couch potato. The only thing that gets me through the NFL offseason (other than whippets and March Madness) are summer movies. I fucking love'em. "Gimme some SnowCaps...you don't have any? FUCK! I'll be sneaking in to an adjacent movie as I exit the one I paid for to enact my revenge, you zit-faced chimp. Now, give me those Swedish Fish and a Mountain Dew big enough to wash a child in. "
Anyway, allow me to rationalize the following by saying, "Here's this." I eagerly await your additional suggestions in the comments.
"Death Race" - Sean Mahan - That was fucking horrid, can I get a ticket refund?
"Iron Man" - Santonio Holmes - Explosions all over the damn place; This guy can fly
"Kung Fu Panda" - Byron Leftwich - whatever.
"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" - Willie Parker - Sequel; Loads of special effects, but as good as the first time around?
"The Incredible Hulk" - Justin Hartwig - Please, God?
"Tropic Thunder" - Rashard Mendenhall - The new one everbody's talking about; can it take over for the reigning blockbuster?
"Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" - Charlie Batch - 2nd time around had flop written all over it; still warms our hearts to remember the good times; See'ya Chuck
"Wall-E" - Chris Kemoeatu - Get it, WALL-E? Wow, I'm desperate here
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army" - Heath Miller - Untraditional hero; flew right under most peoples' radar; true fans know how good it is
"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" - Hines Ward - Old but dependable; Younger leading man (Holmes/LaBeouf) stealing scenes now
"Pineapple Express" - Limas Sweed - Haven't seen it yet, but loads of potential, if it doesn't drop the ball; Weed
"Hancock" - Nate Washington - Shit. Iron Man and Indiana Jones are sold out. Wanna see this one?
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"No Country for Old Men," -- Anthony Smith -- Like Carson Wells (Woody Harrelson) promises to get something he can't deliver.
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