12.19.2008

Friday Circle Jerk


God I love football.

I like ravioli. I like open bars. I like doggy-style (especially if the chick can balance a pint on her back during). BUT I FUCKING LOVE FOOTBALL.

This is the time of year that fact is made abundantly clear. This week is fan-fucking-tastic, with 5 out of the 8 days having a game on. And a vested rooting interest in nearly every game, and not just because my cock-smoking fantasy squad is playing, cuz they shit the bed in week 12. Let's look at what we, the sad sacks that don't have Ticket, will be watching.


SATURDAY GAME:

I'm torn here. My prime directive as a Steelers fan is to root for their best chance of success, in all circumstances, so I'll pull for a Ravens loss. I have no desire to face them again. But, I ALWAYS against big D as they're the only franchise with a shot at beating us to the 6th ring. Oh, and I want to see T.O.'s head explode. In a perfect world the Patriots' plan would crash into the stadium and all three teams would be snuffed out. Yea, I'm rooting for that. How about you?

THE MAIN EVENT:

Clearly the reason you're waking up Sunday. A lot has been made of the Titans' absent players Haynesworth and Vanden Bosch leading up to this one , but I'm more intrigued by the escapability/protection of Kerry Collins. He's only been sacked 7 times this year. The fuck? Ben went down more than that against Philly alone. The Titans have been slow out of the gate, if we CAN get to Collins quickly this one will be over before the half. Whatever bullshit, pointless "Powerpoll" you happen to read, this game is likely to be the last one that truly matters to the Steelers for three weeks.


EARLY FOX GAME:


Pretty much everyone will be watching this one. Obviously, you're pulling for the Pats to their r-dropping asses handed to them. It's unlikely. A stat thrown around a lot this season has been West Coast teams travelling east. They're like 2-24 or something. Plus, 'zona appears to be mailing the rest of the season in until they blow it in the playoffs. Worth jumping to during commercials.


LATE FOX GAME:

I hate Fox. I hate watching their goddamn robots and listening to anyone other than Summerall. But one of these two teams is going to miss the playoffs, and this game will be the reason. It's like that sceen in Dark Knight where he throws the split pool cue between the three henchmen for "tryouts" to join up with him - badass.



5 comments:

Christmas Ape said...

Dallas and Baltimore is Saturday night.

Dixie Normess said...

right. I thought (likely due to Drew's complaining) that Saturday games were extinct.


/fixed


What's your ticket situation?

bigdaddyperrotta said...

that guys got them nice oakleys on

Christmas Ape said...

Still looking

Spatula said...

I was expecting the Titans to have their normal year-end collapse so my brother in TN could score us some tickets. Damn, I hate it when a plan falls apart.