1.16.2009

Let's Go


One of the most mind-boggling, logic-defying and yet, ever-present things in sports fandom is superstitions. However irrational or absurd the logic is behind such things, you will often hear inane ideas about how a specific behavior will control the outcome of a given athletic contest. A particular shirt being worn, sitting in a certain spot on the couch, not washing your crotch until a loss; everyone has their own thing.

This is, of course, all phenomenal bullshit.

These ideas are basically attributable to the “Butterfly Effect,” a derivation of the Chaos Theory which postulates that the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings in say, Coraopolis, could create minor changes in the atmosphere that would ultimately alter the path of a hurricane in the Philippines. Yes, there was a movie about this. Despite the marvelous thespian stylings of Ashton Kutcher, the “The Butterfly Effect,” was a 2 hour eye-rape. Sensible people don't give a shit about the myriad "alternative futures" that lay out there, unactualized. You live your normal life and your cheer on your fucking team.

But these are not normal times. Without heaping too much on, this is without question the most important meeting between these two teams. It’ll result in significant bragging rights, against a divisional rival, no less. For the readers, or at least writers of this blog, this game has the added significance of involving the team whose thuggish, asshole fans we must deal with day in and day out. So guess what, I’ll be donning my lucky hat, parking in the same spot, waving my unwashed Terrible Towel and going to the game with the same buddy that I did last week BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING JANUARY AND THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME AGAINST THE RAVENS. I’d light my sack on fire if I thought’d help us get a shot at a 6th ring. Halleluiah, Holy Shit…Where’s the Tylenol.

Leave your superstitions in the Comments, people.

14 comments:

gamechump said...

I did as you suggested and lit my sack on fire.

Steelers.

Dixie Normess said...

I admire your passion nd question your intellect.

matt said...

LOL @ gamechump!

How did u get tix again?? Lucky bastard!!

My James Farrior jersey did us well last week so that's goin on for sure...

Christmas Ape said...

I'm too superstitious to discuss my superstitions, lest they lose their lucky oomph.

Yes, it's that bad.

Spatula said...

I'm wearing my away Bettis jersey (not the home one) because that's seems to be working better. It's so bad in my family that my mom didn't see all of Superbowl IX. Every time she came in the den, the Vikings started to do well. She ended up listening to the game in the dining room. Her own sons (and husband, for that matter) kicked her out of the den. Yeah, we're spending a few centuries in pergatory, but, the Steelers won. And she's cool with that.

gamechump said...

I think I will wear my personalized jersey because, as you all know, I am on the Steelers.

Personalized jerseys are cool.

~fin~

Cornbread said...

shot of jager after every touchdown

Spatula said...

I finally found this after weeks of looking for it; the Orad enhancement system used by CBS to prove that Holmes made the touchdown: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi9YOd67vsM

Anonymous said...

During the '05 Playoffs while we were playing the Colts I was having a party at my house and drinking. Seemingly the moment I stopped drinking the tide of the game started to turn. I didn't put down my glass during a Steelers game until after the Superbowl ended. I didn't even drink the whole time, I just kept the thing nearby and made sure it wasn't empty. Though, that may just be a drinking problem rather than a cheering superstition...

Anonymous said...

I'm rocking my playoff pubes.

gamechump said...

I have a drunk McOW-MY-PO-LIWWL-NECKY-HUWTY erection right now.

bluzdude said...

Throughout the year, I track what jersey/cap/sox etc. produce wins, crossed against the Steelers playing home or away, where I watch the game, and what jersey the Steelers wear. Then, by the time the playoffs come around, I have enough of a track record to make some deductions on what provides maximum mojo.

I know that this is all completely ridiculous, but it's just one of those things we do for our team. Helps us feel more connected.

As another ex-Burgher living in Baltimore, this was one game that I absolutely had to have. Needless to say, it was a very good day at work today.

Mandy said...

@ Spatula

Mothers are so unlucky during game time. We frequently banish my mom in my house too. Actually, we just shoot her a look now and she knows what to do.

Anonymous said...

I was going to say that I won't shave on a Steelers game day, but this other stuff is serious hard-core superstition!