One of the most mind-boggling, logic-defying and yet, ever-present things in sports fandom is superstitions. However irrational or absurd the logic is behind such things, you will often hear inane ideas about how a specific behavior will control the outcome of a given athletic contest. A particular shirt being worn, sitting in a certain spot on the couch, not washing your crotch until a loss; everyone has their own thing.
This is, of course, all phenomenal bullshit.
These ideas are basically attributable to the “Butterfly Effect,” a derivation of the Chaos Theory which postulates that the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings in say, Coraopolis, could create minor changes in the atmosphere that would ultimately alter the path of a hurricane in the Philippines. Yes, there was a movie about this. Despite the marvelous thespian stylings of Ashton Kutcher, the “The Butterfly Effect,” was a 2 hour eye-rape. Sensible people don't give a shit about the myriad "alternative futures" that lay out there, unactualized. You live your normal life and your cheer on your fucking team.
But these are not normal times. Without heaping too much on, this is without question the most important meeting between these two teams. It’ll result in significant bragging rights, against a divisional rival, no less. For the readers, or at least writers of this blog, this game has the added significance of involving the team whose thuggish, asshole fans we must deal with day in and day out. So guess what, I’ll be donning my lucky hat, parking in the same spot, waving my unwashed Terrible Towel and going to the game with the same buddy that I did last week BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING JANUARY AND THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME AGAINST THE RAVENS. I’d light my sack on fire if I thought’d help us get a shot at a 6th ring. Halleluiah, Holy Shit…Where’s the Tylenol.
Leave your superstitions in the Comments, people.