1.14.2009

Ravens Hate of the Day for Wednesday

Brace yourselves, but the Ratbirds are already talking shit and designing T-shirts in advance of Sunday's game. Always a great sign. Here's Derrick Mason showing off a very "Who Dey"-like mantra for the Ravens, because they want to believe that, per the usual Baltimore inferiority complex, that no one is giving them a chance. That's why Joe Flacco, he and his playoff completion percentage of 44, is being fellated by every media outlet across the country.

Yes, the Ravens are underdogs. You tend not to be favored when you're playing on the road against a team you already lost to twice. Whatever works for you to get motivated. The Steelers can get fired up for a game without empty fucking posturing to the media.

Naturally, Mason's isn't the only example of Raven histronics. Terrell Suggs, owner of the lamest nickname in sports and the guy who puts up bounties on receivers that he never collects, is making sure to crow about how much he's willing to play through injury. Quoth the thug: "The only way I wouldn't be there is if I didn't have air in my lungs. I will see you Sunday." What braying melodramatic bullshit.

Speaking of injuries, I'd say it's smart money that they had a bounty out on Chris Johnson. It sure appeared that way since they clearly tried to take him out while he was gashing them for huge yardage.

21 comments:

SeeyouSunday said...

Like Baby Ben was "fellated" after his 43% completion percentage in the Super Bowl?

And your link on Mason goes to an article hating on Primanti Bros. sandwiches. Now, I'm a Ravens fan, but I can't even get aboard that train. A Pittsburger is some deliciousness, freal.

About Suggs - you and everyone else talking about the bounty give him too much credit. If you listen to the interview, its pretty clear he has no idea what the word actually means. ASU education, what?!

Christmas Ape said...

Except Roethlisberger was 49-72 with 7 TDs and 1 INT in the three playoff games leading up to that Super Bowl. Yeah, he had a poor game in the Bowl, but he certainly gets all the credit for getting them there.

Suggs and Ravens can backtrack on the bounty all the want. Whatever it takes not to get suspended.

Spatula said...

Ape, for shame. Suggesting that the cub scouts known as the Ratbirds would actually stoop to deliberately trying to injure a player they couldn't possibly stop any other way is a vile and false canard. The Ratbirds are nothing but God-fearing gentlemen, ever eager to help a little old lady across the street, then push her under the bus and steal her social security check and rape her dog. But I digress.

Anonymous said...

Damn, looks like Ape's baseless fanhood is a sore spot.

I at least applaud his honesty and give him points for originality. Most Steeler fans around the country always counter with something like "well, my dad's family lived in Pittsburgh...but it really sucks there so they left." I've heard that one (or some version of it) so many times I just assume it's always true, even when the person telling me the tale has an african accent.

The babysitter story is a breath of fresh air that real black-lunged PGHers can appreciate. Although, I'm not surprised he had nothing to say about Primanti Bros., he probably has no idea what that is.

Christmas Ape said...

Had Primanti's when I was at Sunday's game, thanks.

I don't know where you all came with this babysitter shit, but it's cute. Attack me all you want, you can't defend your thugnificent team or the shitastic city it calls home. Not that any Ravens fans live in Baltimore City. Have fun watching the game in Towson.

Anonymous said...

Ape, I'll quote you from your 2nd post on this site:

"I've never lived there at any point. I was born in Allentown, on the other side of the state and only lived there until I was two. However, my mom worked for Bethlehem Steel at the time and, later, some babysitter I had my first crush on liked the team, so it somehow made sense."

Pretty bad you can't even remember your own fake justifications for being a steelers fan.

And, yeah, the shirt Mason is touting is pretty lame, but equally lame were the Steelers "use me" shirts from last season. Keep thinking your squealers are all high and mighty and above "empty fucking posturing" though.

Christmas Ape said...

I'm talking about the retarded flashing story.

And the Use Me shirts were a seasonal thing, and not a response to one fucking game. It's not they were braying about being somehow disrespected.

Christmas Ape said...

And, again, I make no apologies for my fandom. I've rooted for the Steelers my entire life. If the best you have is anonymous commenters ripping me for being a bandwagon fan, it's pretty pathetic, even for Ravens fans, though it is in keeping with their typical insecure bullshit.

Anonymous said...

http://www.baltimoreravens.com/News/Articles/2008/12/Whats_Our_Name_campaign.aspx

The "What's our name? Ravens!" slogan was trotted out at the start of the post season. So, it is post-seasonal, and not a response to one fucking game. Dumbass.

I think some aspiring fiction writer just took your babysitter story one step further. You're a smart guy, you can figure that out I hope.

Anonymous said...

"The “What’s our name?” refrain came from an inspirational speech head coach John Harbaugh’s father, Jack, gave to the team the week before the season opener."

waaa wahhhhhhhh

Christmas Ape said...

Ah, but the implication is the same: "Waaahhh, no one respects us! Someone please tell the Ravens they're good!"

Again, attack the messenger. If you thinking I'm a bandwagon fan helps you deal with Ravens losses, so be it.

Spatula said...

I thought the shirt was so everybody in Baltimore knew how to spell R-a-v-e-n-s.

gamechump said...

I hope John Harbaugh’s father get's raped by John Harbaugh and RayRay. Like, in a really funny slapstick kinda way, where everyone is slipping in blood and stuff. Ha.

Go Steelers.

Welkahhhhh said...

Pretty fahkin ahsum when Ape's ad ovah theyuh is the Patriots ProShop. Fachkin wankas.

Pro-Hat Party said...

Ape, as someone who grew up in the South Hills of Pittsburgh and now lives in DC, I second the person who granted your honorary status as a Picksburgher. Now start bragging about how many bridges we have. Baltimore is a baseless team -- bunch of wanna be Browns. And that's just pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Pittsburgh :: Bridges, Baltimore :: one-way streets

I have nothing to do with the cleveland brownstains.

As an aside, I passed a Mayflower truck on my way to work today. Fuckin fuck.

Anonymous said...

"What's out name!" is what the Ravens defense screams as they gang rape a toothless whore from the 9th District.

Nashville Steeler Fan said...

It sure appeared that way since they clearly tried to take him out while he was gashing them for huge yardage.

i saw this when it happened and i thought it was cheap..but didn't Rich 'Loose' Gannon get crushed in a similar way by fats the goose in the raiders/raven playoff? and by similar I mean cheap. Fuck and yes he did..a criminal element is clearly present..has been for a while

Anonymous said...

Hines Ward "tries" to take defenders out of every game he plays him. By blindsiding them late.

he finally succeeded with Keith Rivers, and Steeler fans oooh'd and ahhh'd and choked on his tiny asian wang over it.

The Ravens are just better at it.

Christmas Ape said...

How was the Keith Rivers hit "late"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS1kETsSb4E

The guy was charging at Matt Spaeth to make a tackle, and Hines blocked him.

And Hines doesn't dive at players' knees. He hits them straight-up. I'll debunk this and any other fictions you want to employ to make the Ravens thuggery look better.

johnny said...

Stupid fucking glass-jawed rookie shouldn't be running with his head down.