Mouthbreather With a Stupid Nickname Has Hate in His Heart

Sorry you can't beat the Steelers, T-Sizzle. At least you got paid in the offseason. Maybe include this shirt in your bounty on Hines Ward this season. Maybe that'll equal results.

[One for the Other Thumb]


Another Part of the Core is Secured

During a week in which people had been fatuously trying to spark rumors that the Steelers would take a flyer on a volatile commodity like Michael Vick, the franchise again demonstrated what is a central theme in its continued success: consistency. And they did that by locking up the immensely valuable (though always seemingly underutilized) Heath Miller for six years, thus further making a 2010 offseason, which once seemed so fraught with potential upheaval, look pretty manageable now.

The extension will pay him $35.3 million over six years. With Hines, Max Starks and James Harrison getting extensions this offseason, the biggest priorities remaining are Ryan Clark, Casey Hampton, Deshea Townsend and Jeff Reed. I'm not exactly banking on Fast Willie returning, or even dreading his eventual departure, but one never knows. At his age, Townsend won't command a huge figure and even as one of the more dependable kickers in the league, Skippy shouldn't break the bank. Clark and Hampton are the two question marks, though with the franchise tag left unused, the team knows it will be able to retain at least one of them, if not both.

So after a messy week of civil suits and distractions, the Steelers quickly steer back to a state of normalcy. Hopefully one that will persist.

Santonio Spits It On The Wire, Man*

Not a whole lot going on, but I wanted to shove the Roethlisberger civil suit stuff off the top of the page, so here's Santonio doing the NFL Fantasy File thing. It's funny because he can also balance on his dick.

NFL.com thus far has Bert Flacco (who surprisingly isn't showing off how hard he can stare at one receiver in coverage) and Santonio as its Fantasy File spokesplayers, with three more on the way for '09, which is amusing seeing as neither player is really all that much of a fantasy stud. But then, they had Chris Chambers, Laurence Maroney and Chris Simms last year, so being a relevant fantasy option isn't a huge criterion to be in one of these things apparently.

Santonio remains an intriguing case - he could put up huge numbers if his postseason breakout does indeed carry over to bigger production this year, which it might or might not (maybe it'll provide the focus he lacked for large portions of last season), but after buying into his next big thing status last year, I may hold off a little before grabbing him early this season.

*Hooray for dated Kanye references


It's Oh So Quiet

Or it was, this offseason, until late yesterday, when it was revealed Ben Roethlisberger is the subject (or one of them) in a civil case filed last week by a Harrah's employee in Nevada alleging sexual assault in an incident that supposedly happened a year ago.

If Ben is guilty, it's a horrible thing, he's a horrible person and we have to immediately reassess our perception of him, whether you already think him to be a stoic hero, an attention whore or kind of a dick. Even if it's bad, it'll be worse.

At this point, the case looks highly suspect. People are cursorily screaming that she wants money, a coworker has said the woman was seeing a psychiatrist and sleeping with another married man. Now, even if both of those claims are true, it doesn't mean she couldn't have been assaulted, however still it lends a further shitshow factor to a case that just broke yesterday. Solid information is scant and very well may be for a little while. In the meantime, rampant idiotic speculation will rush to fill the void. Make a beeline for The Big Lead or ProFootballTalk if you're in need of that.

Naturally, Ravens and Patriots fans are having a field day with this. Ravens fans are already tossing out the "you mock us for Ray Lewis being a murderer when he wasn't found to be a murderer! Karma karma karma!" stuff. True enough, Lewis didn't have a murder charge stick, but Ray-Ray was actually convicted of something (obstruction of justice), which was a lesser charge he plea bargained for in exchange for cooperation with authorities during his case, so we can assume he was guilty of more than that. So far, Roethlisberger is the defendant in a civil case with no criminal charges. And Patriots fans are always desperate to tarnish other teams because they have to live with the fact that the three championships that caused them to start rooting for their team are sullied by cheating. In the end, even if Roethlisberger is cleared of this entirely, even if he doesn't pay a dime in a settlement to end this civil case, dumb haters (those who find wordplay like "Worthlessberger" to be witty rejoinder at its most corruscating) will harp on this and add to their extensive repotoire of mindless detraction.