My Friday previews are typically earnest affairs where I parrot the same half-baked analysis that a couple dozen other Steelers bloggers are churning out in advance of the upcoming game. It helps me pretend like I actually have an idea how things are going to play out. A nice comforting delusion, you might say.
But in lieu of regularly scheduled ruminations of hot routes and not letting the opposing quarterback complete almost 90 percent of his passes in the second half, I would like to present an important message. And that message is fuck Chad Ochocinco and the withered Spanish dick he rode in on.
Chad's antics are occasionally amusing and altogether he seems an outspoken but generally decent guy. But his hang-up with the Steelers is enough to make me forget all of that and hope that he follows through on the threat he made last night on Twitter to fight James Harrison. PLEASE OH PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN. I'll take James Harrison being further demonized by the media if it means Ochocinco gets knocked into a nice deep - most importantly SILENT - comatose state.
Ocho talks loads of shit regardless of the opponent, but he's been taking it to another level with the Steelers over the past year. This would seem odd given that the Bungles swept Pittsburgh last year, but then you have to remember Chad never does shit against the Steelers. Me-first assholes aren't concerned whether the team wins if they don't get to look good. Three touchdowns in 17 career games against the Steelers. An average of 65.4 yards per game, which is the worst figure for Chad among all AFC North opponents. Astounding stuff, Ocho.
In short, dude's grossly overrated and worked up by his lack of production against the division's regular powerhouse. It helps to explain why, apropos of nothing, he called the Steelers a "team of girls" during some random interview in the offseason to promote one of his many shitty TV shows. DURR HURR THAT CHAD FLINGS THE ZINGS!
It's even worse because this year he's being badly outperformed by Terrell Owens, the other half of his tard tandem in the receiving corps. Owens is probably are the only part of the Cincinnati offense that worries me going in Monday night. The Bengals are a talented enough team that they, like the Saints, could put together a good performance with the added motivation of being desperate for a win and playing in primetime. But Chad, as always, won't do shit but maybe throw in some more empty talk if the Bengals do happen to win.
Oh, and fuck both these diptards for this dim racial commentary on the Roethlisberger and Vick suspensions. I'm sure the difference in punishment has nothing to do with Vick actually having been convicted of a felony. When Michael Vick gets suspended for something when he's not even arrested or charged, get back to me, shitheads.